No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
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