I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
Randomize
