it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
Randomize
