dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
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