I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
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