It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
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