my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
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