Some broad at the bar just asked me how much money I make. I don't know whats worse, the question or the answer.
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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