and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
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