He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
me + whiskey = a bad person
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
Randomize