12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
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