evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
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