I just pynch a tree in the face
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
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