You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
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