Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
Randomize
