i'm stoned. there's a jazz trio playing outside across the street...scared that mike myers will appear & start yelling 'woman...WHOA MAN. WHOOOA MAN.' i'm snapping my fingers.
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
Randomize
