Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
Randomize
