I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
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