So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
The thing about being single is like Sunday morning sex is nice but so is Sunday morning eating Nutella from the jar in your underwear
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