please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
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