Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
Randomize
