I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
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