You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
Everything about him screamed your future.
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
Randomize
