My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
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