I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
Randomize
