Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
Randomize
