I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
Randomize
