so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
Randomize
