Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
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