Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
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