Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
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