i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
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