She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
Randomize
