yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
Randomize
