I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
My most recent midlife crisis involved eating a doughnut in 30 seconds but taking 5 minutes to do half a shot of whiskey, then deciding I wasn't going to finish it.
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
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