i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
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