im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
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