You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
Randomize
