I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
