I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
Randomize
