with your own penis?
THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
Randomize
