I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
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