So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
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