i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
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