he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
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