Your tits are I can't wait for
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
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