He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
Watching her eat just hurts me
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Randomize
