True but thats because hes a fetus.
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
Randomize
