Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
this beer tastes like vomit already
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
Randomize
