Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
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