We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
Randomize
