So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
Randomize