How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
