you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
20 People Who Caught Their Significant Others Cheating and Hand Over Some Major Karma
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
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When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"