i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
Randomize
