one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
He's on the porch naked. Help.
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