I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
Randomize
