just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
You brought string cheese to the strip club
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
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