I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
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