I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
Randomize
