Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
Holy shit dude........stairs
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
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